The Heart of Christmas
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ASJktrBObrI
Have you ever had a moment where you had so much on your mind you just couldn't seem to get the words out for fear that there would be too much to share and the excitement would turn to rambling and then no one would listen? Wow! That was a long first sentence! Hopefully the rambling won't kick in too badly and I will be able to share what's on my heart in an orderly manner ;) lol
All kidding aside though for a moment. I really struggled finding the words to share with you this time around. I would start to set time aside to write and then change my mind because I just wasn't ready yet. This went on for the past 5 days and even though I still feel like there is so much more to share I will share what I can and continue on in the coming days as the Lord places it on my heart.
First of all, please take the time to visit the Youtube link I have posted at the top of this blog. This song truly blessed my heart when I heard it last night for the first time. You may have heard or seen the movie it was the inspiration for, but for me, I came across it, I believe not by accident when listening to Matthew Wests Christmas album. God summed up my heart in one song. In the last couple of posts I shared about thanksgiving and gratefulness, but what often happens between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Our moment of thankfulness is gone and we dive head first into a sea of emotions.
Probably for about the first 10 years of our marriage, Chris and I would get so excited about Christmas. We would decorate, bake, and attend holiday friend and family parties. The church was always doing elaborate celebrations, and of course halfway through those 10 years with the birth of our daughters, Christmas was even more exciting. We wanted to do all we could for our little blessings, and we did! But one thing remained, Chris and I always made it about the children and when it came to shopping for gifts, we did all we could for the girls and everyone else would do without. Did we want to bless our family? Of course we did! Did we wish we could do so much more for everyone else? Absolutely! But the truth of the matter was, we just couldn't. As much as we wanted to, we just couldn't. As we found ourselves stuck in this position year after year, we hoped for change, we prayed for increase, we wanted the ability to do more. Frustration, sadness and an overwhelming guilt always surrounded me. I was frustrated at always having just enough and never MORE than enough. I was saddened that we were not in a position to bless others the way our hearts desired to. And most of all, a guilt hovered over me when we would receive gifts in the mail from family and we had not sent a single package out. Why was this so torturous? Why was the stress so overwhelming and over-powering that the joy I was supposed to have at Christmas was sucked out of me so quickly that I had to pretend to be happy. Oh I was truly grateful for the gifts but why did they have to even send them? I didn't ask for anything! I hadn't even made a Christmas wish list! Then my feelings would turn to anger because now it was more of "how dare they make me feel bad!" This only lasted a moment because everything would eventually break down and I would then be left in silent tears because there was nothing I could do about it. What was I going to do? Get angry at someone just because they decided and WANTED to bless me?
I remember being invited to a Christmas/Birthday celebration with the ladies of our church at the time and at this event each of us was there to honor a particular leader in our church who had been a part of our lives for several years. I was very nervous because a gift was expected and for one we did not have much, secondly most of the other women knew her interests and likes more than I did. I struggled for days trying to figure out the perfect gift. I was very close to just giving up and not attending at all when God spoke clearly to my heart and said to give a gift from the heart. I immediately sat down and began to write the words of my heart on parchment paper. When I was done sharing my gratitude and appreciation for this person, I took the paper and burned the edges, rolled it up and tied it with a ribbon. There were 3 gifts in the bag to represent the words I had written. A journal to represent the words of encouragement that she would one day write for other women, teabags to represent the relationship established over gatherings, and the last gift was a shawl to represent the covering that she had been to all of us. The time came for the party and the moment of gift giving. As she opened each gift one by one, I began to doubt the simple contents of my bag. Expensive gifts, one right after another came, and I began to feel extremely nervous. I wanted to duck out when no one was looking but the time came for me to present my gift. With a humble heart but also a feeling of downcast spirit I stood and pulled the scroll from the bag and began to read. With each part I read I pulled the gift from the bag and presented it to represent the words. As I read, tears began to roll down my cheek and I could feel God removing the shame from heart. I lifted my head and gave her a hug and returned to my seat. You see, I learned a lesson that night. There was nothing wrong with anyone else's gift, but there was nothing wrong with mine either. I gave from my heart and that was all that mattered.
In this season of Christmas, we see a lot of selfishness, envy, anger, and frustration, but the hardest part is that I see mostly, hurt, sadness, loneliness, and heartache. We have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. We temporarily forget about the one who can replace our heartache with joy, the one who can bandage up our wounds and bring true healing. He is the one who can bring peace in the midst of chaos. Jesus Christ is the true reason for this season and all year long for the rest of our life. We have to allow Him to take the stress and doubt from our lives and replace it with His love.
I want to go back to this song I posted at the top of the page. The Story behind the song broke my heart but the love throughout the song gave so much hope. The family lost this precious gift but God filled their hearts with love, faith and hope to press on and live every moment to the fullest. The title was so perfect because what God showed me is that it's God's love that is the Heart of Christmas. Gods love to others, through others, and with others is the heart of Christmas. The most important part of Christmas is not the gifts or the parties, but the love we show to those around us and most importantly taking the time to show those you love how much you truly do love them.
We take for granted the fact that they should already know we love them, so we don't say it enough. Those simple words from the heart just might be what is needed to pull that special loved one from what ever pit they may have found themselves in. I was once in a pit, almost no life left and it was Gods love through those around me that pulled me up and out and gave me hope again. You see, I don't ask for much, actually I don't ask for anything anymore. I wake up each morning and the question I hear over and over is, "If I never gave another thing to you, would you still love me?" And my answer every time is, "Yes Lord, I would." I say these simple words to my husband every chance I get, at least once a day, "I love you and you are my gift." He is my gift. I asked God for him and He blessed me with the greatest husband and best friend. My daughters are my gift. We asked specifically for twins and that is what He blessed us with and they are the most wonderful gift. I am grateful for life, my family who loves me unconditionally, and most of all, my Heavenly Father who has never has let me down. I have no need for anything else when God has already given such wonderful gifts and the greatest gift of all, His son Jesus.
So in this Christmas season I want to start by saying...
To all my family and loved ones - I love you, I thank God for you and there may be distance between us in miles, but you are closer than ever in my heart. YOU ARE MY GIFT!
To all of my closest friends - You know who you are, and if you have doubts then maybe we should talk...lol. I love you and you are special to me. God has placed us in each other's lives for a reason and a season. Some seasons may last longer than others but each is just as important as the other. Thank you for your friendship. YOU ARE MY GIFT!
To everyone else who I may not know but you received this because someone cared enough about you to share these words, just know that you are loved by God and those around you even if they may not stay it as often. You are loved!
Tell those you love how much you love them and don't forget the Heart of Christmas is Gods Love!
Be Blessed!
All kidding aside though for a moment. I really struggled finding the words to share with you this time around. I would start to set time aside to write and then change my mind because I just wasn't ready yet. This went on for the past 5 days and even though I still feel like there is so much more to share I will share what I can and continue on in the coming days as the Lord places it on my heart.
First of all, please take the time to visit the Youtube link I have posted at the top of this blog. This song truly blessed my heart when I heard it last night for the first time. You may have heard or seen the movie it was the inspiration for, but for me, I came across it, I believe not by accident when listening to Matthew Wests Christmas album. God summed up my heart in one song. In the last couple of posts I shared about thanksgiving and gratefulness, but what often happens between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Our moment of thankfulness is gone and we dive head first into a sea of emotions.
Probably for about the first 10 years of our marriage, Chris and I would get so excited about Christmas. We would decorate, bake, and attend holiday friend and family parties. The church was always doing elaborate celebrations, and of course halfway through those 10 years with the birth of our daughters, Christmas was even more exciting. We wanted to do all we could for our little blessings, and we did! But one thing remained, Chris and I always made it about the children and when it came to shopping for gifts, we did all we could for the girls and everyone else would do without. Did we want to bless our family? Of course we did! Did we wish we could do so much more for everyone else? Absolutely! But the truth of the matter was, we just couldn't. As much as we wanted to, we just couldn't. As we found ourselves stuck in this position year after year, we hoped for change, we prayed for increase, we wanted the ability to do more. Frustration, sadness and an overwhelming guilt always surrounded me. I was frustrated at always having just enough and never MORE than enough. I was saddened that we were not in a position to bless others the way our hearts desired to. And most of all, a guilt hovered over me when we would receive gifts in the mail from family and we had not sent a single package out. Why was this so torturous? Why was the stress so overwhelming and over-powering that the joy I was supposed to have at Christmas was sucked out of me so quickly that I had to pretend to be happy. Oh I was truly grateful for the gifts but why did they have to even send them? I didn't ask for anything! I hadn't even made a Christmas wish list! Then my feelings would turn to anger because now it was more of "how dare they make me feel bad!" This only lasted a moment because everything would eventually break down and I would then be left in silent tears because there was nothing I could do about it. What was I going to do? Get angry at someone just because they decided and WANTED to bless me?
I remember being invited to a Christmas/Birthday celebration with the ladies of our church at the time and at this event each of us was there to honor a particular leader in our church who had been a part of our lives for several years. I was very nervous because a gift was expected and for one we did not have much, secondly most of the other women knew her interests and likes more than I did. I struggled for days trying to figure out the perfect gift. I was very close to just giving up and not attending at all when God spoke clearly to my heart and said to give a gift from the heart. I immediately sat down and began to write the words of my heart on parchment paper. When I was done sharing my gratitude and appreciation for this person, I took the paper and burned the edges, rolled it up and tied it with a ribbon. There were 3 gifts in the bag to represent the words I had written. A journal to represent the words of encouragement that she would one day write for other women, teabags to represent the relationship established over gatherings, and the last gift was a shawl to represent the covering that she had been to all of us. The time came for the party and the moment of gift giving. As she opened each gift one by one, I began to doubt the simple contents of my bag. Expensive gifts, one right after another came, and I began to feel extremely nervous. I wanted to duck out when no one was looking but the time came for me to present my gift. With a humble heart but also a feeling of downcast spirit I stood and pulled the scroll from the bag and began to read. With each part I read I pulled the gift from the bag and presented it to represent the words. As I read, tears began to roll down my cheek and I could feel God removing the shame from heart. I lifted my head and gave her a hug and returned to my seat. You see, I learned a lesson that night. There was nothing wrong with anyone else's gift, but there was nothing wrong with mine either. I gave from my heart and that was all that mattered.
In this season of Christmas, we see a lot of selfishness, envy, anger, and frustration, but the hardest part is that I see mostly, hurt, sadness, loneliness, and heartache. We have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. We temporarily forget about the one who can replace our heartache with joy, the one who can bandage up our wounds and bring true healing. He is the one who can bring peace in the midst of chaos. Jesus Christ is the true reason for this season and all year long for the rest of our life. We have to allow Him to take the stress and doubt from our lives and replace it with His love.
I want to go back to this song I posted at the top of the page. The Story behind the song broke my heart but the love throughout the song gave so much hope. The family lost this precious gift but God filled their hearts with love, faith and hope to press on and live every moment to the fullest. The title was so perfect because what God showed me is that it's God's love that is the Heart of Christmas. Gods love to others, through others, and with others is the heart of Christmas. The most important part of Christmas is not the gifts or the parties, but the love we show to those around us and most importantly taking the time to show those you love how much you truly do love them.
We take for granted the fact that they should already know we love them, so we don't say it enough. Those simple words from the heart just might be what is needed to pull that special loved one from what ever pit they may have found themselves in. I was once in a pit, almost no life left and it was Gods love through those around me that pulled me up and out and gave me hope again. You see, I don't ask for much, actually I don't ask for anything anymore. I wake up each morning and the question I hear over and over is, "If I never gave another thing to you, would you still love me?" And my answer every time is, "Yes Lord, I would." I say these simple words to my husband every chance I get, at least once a day, "I love you and you are my gift." He is my gift. I asked God for him and He blessed me with the greatest husband and best friend. My daughters are my gift. We asked specifically for twins and that is what He blessed us with and they are the most wonderful gift. I am grateful for life, my family who loves me unconditionally, and most of all, my Heavenly Father who has never has let me down. I have no need for anything else when God has already given such wonderful gifts and the greatest gift of all, His son Jesus.
So in this Christmas season I want to start by saying...
To all my family and loved ones - I love you, I thank God for you and there may be distance between us in miles, but you are closer than ever in my heart. YOU ARE MY GIFT!
To all of my closest friends - You know who you are, and if you have doubts then maybe we should talk...lol. I love you and you are special to me. God has placed us in each other's lives for a reason and a season. Some seasons may last longer than others but each is just as important as the other. Thank you for your friendship. YOU ARE MY GIFT!
To everyone else who I may not know but you received this because someone cared enough about you to share these words, just know that you are loved by God and those around you even if they may not stay it as often. You are loved!
Tell those you love how much you love them and don't forget the Heart of Christmas is Gods Love!
Be Blessed!
No comments:
Post a Comment